Alain Lou
There is no secret ingredient
2024-07-22
"It's just you"
I started writing this back in January, when I was definitly under the seasonal affective disorder
Part 1:
Originally titled "The Calvary isn't Coming"
It hasn't been easy to settle in to the full-time life. Part of this has definitely been a mismatch of expections versus reality, but in many ways it's a realization that in the end I am alone - independent, free, liberated, but alone. As I'm writing this entry I'm also reading Notes from Underground by Dostoevsky with my college friends, which I've been using as a guide for what not to do. I know I shouldn't accept defeat, I just need to keep trying. There's no way out but through, and things are starting to look brighter.
Theme 1: put on a happy face
I used to be envious of people who are naturally cheerful. Those who are able to wear a geniune smile on their face through the day just because they have a pleasent disposition.
I've been told that I like to smile a lot, maybe too much to be taken seriously. But that kind of smiling has beensurface level.
Forcing yourself to be in a good mood.
Theme 2: Shifu and Po
Kung Fu Panda is one of my favorite movies. In Master Oogway's last scene before disappearing in a flurry of flower petals, he instructs Shifu to let go of his illusion of control. Shifu argues using a peach pit as a metaphor for Po (a student he is teaching) - he can control where the seed is planted, when the fruit will fall, the seed cannot help but grow into a peach tree, though Shifu might wish for an apple or orange. Oogway
There is no secret ingredient.
Theme 3: (self-)discipline
burnout from looking
David Goggins
Self-love
tentative careful, important first step
Keep trying. Keep up the good fight.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts."
- Winston Churchill
"Don't worry, don't compare, don't expect too fast, be kind to yourself."
- Tomo Fujita
Part 2: Buddism
I met a guy the other day